Throughout life, the people have suffered through heartbreak, heartache, and tears. Each individual has their own struggle to go through, but there has to be somewhere to turn. When a friend turns to you for comfort, it is best not to shrug off their problem if you care about them. The song called “Lean on Me” has an origin. People turn to others for help and support. Love is a major issue that needs help, especially if a relationship is over. In order to help them instead of hurt them, here are a few tips to keep in mind.

1) Listen

Perhaps the most important action a friend could take is to listen. While the person who has a broken heart speaks, let them say what they want. Interfering with it, such as saying, “Well, it isn’t too bad,” shows that you are not compassionate about helping them. Imagine if you were heart broken with someone you loved and someone said that to you. It’s surely not a leap of joy. While you listen, it is best to not give suggestions unless your friend asks for them.

When you do give them suggestions, make them meaningful but kind, unless your friend is not ready to hear that. As their friend, you should be able to determine whether a suggestion is capable of said without harm, or not.

2) Don’t Suppress Them

Let your friend let all their emotion out, let them cry, speak about it, and perhaps even throw a small fit (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone!). If it gets out of hand, you may inform them that they should try to calm down, or leave the situation if you could get hurt physically. Otherwise, let them speak out their pain. It is much better to endure or listen to their cry for help, or cry of pain to help them, instead of telling them to calm down and to not make a big deal out of it. A broken heart can go on extreme different levels of pain, so let it be released.

3) Be Polite

When you speak to them, be best to be polite. Look at your friend in the eyes when she/he speaks, or at least at his/her face. Sit down and don’t interrupt as they talk, because it would disrupt their flow of speaking and they may forget what they spoke about. When you do speak with them, just remember your manners. Don’t let other people distract you during this important conversation, because it would make the person who needs help insignificant. Stay focused, such as not answering your phone when it goes off, or the likewise. You can always go back to it later, but you cannot rewind life to make it so it doesn’t hurt your friend.

4) Be Patient

Once a person has a broken heart, and they come to you, be prepared. Time is a major concept of a broken heart, and your friend may bring up the subject again and again. Remember, although you might get sick of it, sometimes it takes days, months, and even years to get over heartache. Those who fell too deep could also perhaps take a life-time. You got to be patient and let them speak about it. Eventually the idea of their loved one will dwindle, but you got to let it dwindle naturally. Forcing it to dwindle will only make the feeling persist, and hurt your friend.

5) Don’t Blame/Yell

Yelling at your friend, telling them that they are a baby, that they need to grow up, that they are stupid, and other terms, does not help. If it is help, it’s the worst kind out there. It makes you disrespectful of them and gives yourself a label as a bad friend instead of helping them. Some friends actually disown those friends who yell at them when they are hurting because the friend is not doing them a favor, even if they claim to do it because they are “best friends.”

Although it is true that the only person that could help them is themselves, their friends, you, are the background and support. You have to support them while at the same time letting them learn that they can be independent. They should be able to do that naturally. You have a life to live as well, so go back to 3. Be polite and excuse yourself if there is something drastically important that you have to do. If not, go support your friend. You got to have time for yourself, but have time to help others as well.

6) Keep your Temper

Sometimes friends get sick and tired of helping someone who was hurt and is hurting. If you honestly need some me time, explain that to your friend, being polite. If you cannot face your friend in that manner, take some time off, like a day, before going back to your friend and tell them what you were doing during that break. Be honest but not brutal. That’s what friends are for; telling the truth with the least pain as possible.

7) Share your experience

When you have the chance to, such as when your friend becomes quiet in thought it would be a good idea to ask if you could share an experience. If your friend says yes, then go ahead and share an experience that is similar to their situation, such as if you had a broken heart. However, the situation has to be somewhat worse or equal to their situation. If not, then more than likely it would help them feel sorry for themselves. Share what you know or believe will do more help than harm to them. Let them understand that they are not alone in what they feel, because many others have felt the same way and have been in the same situation as he/she has been in.

Encourage Them

You have friends and a bit of encouragement always help. Encourage them to be strong and to keep their ex out of their mind. Remind them that they are a great person who only deserves the best, and that sometimes life doesn’t always go the way people plan it to go. Encourage them to be strong.

Friends need help and turn to one another. It is best to help them instead of leaving them in the dust. Sometimes people can hurt each other without meaning to, and thus it is reasonable to look back and take into consideration on what would be best to act and why. Everyone has suffered from a broken heart, but true friends and family will always be there in order to help patch it up.

-Cutecatlove

Sometimes your relationship isn’t so perfect after a while, and your guy seems like he is too much to handle. Well let me tell you this; there is a limit that you should take when in a relationship. Truthfully, only you can determine if it is the best to leave your man or to keep him. There should be a line for both him and you to respect in order to maintain a healthy relationship. If there is lack of a healthy relationship, then it’s time to boot out.

1) Cheating

If someone cheated once, and you stay with them, more than likely that would be a turn on signal that it is OK to cheat, although you may rebuke them. If your man cheats on you, it means that he does not love you, but merely lusts. If a man truthfully loves someone, then he would not go around being a player, or having sex with friends. He would have enough self-control and restraint not to put himself in temptation. More over, if you speak about pine-apple relationships (see article: Pineapple Relationships), and he does not permit you to have that freedom if he does, then that is not treating you as an equal. When a man cheats on you, it’s time to go.

2) Lack of respect

When a man calls you by derogatory/swears words in a serious manner, there is no respect there. Another sign for a lack of respect is if he hits you with the intention to harm you. Bail. A man like that could only contribute to physical or verbal abuse. No one deserves that.

3) Fighting

If you both argue, the relationship is going down the drain. Although it is normal for there to be occasional fighting, constant fighting is not healthy and can disown love. If fighting between both you and your spouse happens and it keeps going on, it’s time to leave. Eventually you or he will tire of fighting and will leave in order to find peace. It’s time for either him or you to stop fighting, or for you guys to split.

4) Not Caring

Baby, everyone has needs and desires. It’s respectable that both sides understand and give each other what each other needs to the best of their ability. However, if it is a one takes all relationship, it’s over. Some people go on for months giving the other what they need but have nothing back. If your man accidentally hurts you, or if you get hurt, and he doesn’t want to listen for a good amount of time then take into consideration to leave. If you are ignored during a time of trouble, or repetitive times of trouble, it means that he doesn’t care. It’s time to leave, and find someone who does.

Those are the basic four signs to break off a relationship. You got to aim for the best, and if the person you are with hurt you intentionally several times, it’s time to go. Although each person has their faults, it is their responsibility to do their best. It is time to make life work out the best as it could, but you got to understand what to look out for, and whether it is best to stay, or to leave.

-Cutecatlove

t’s a lovely day, ladies. Here is a quick tip. Although men love the woman body, leave your body to their imagination. Don’t reveal everything! Leaving the man to fantasize or imagine how your body looks like is much more fun to them and has them ponder more about you during the day. If you reveal everything, there are no secrets to how your body looks like. If that is the case, then they have no reason to guess what is beneath that shirt. Keep them guessing!

-Cutecatlove

All right, here are some common reasons to break up. Sometimes relationships are a problem and you might be single and have troubles. Maybe there is a break up about to happen. Either or, here are some helpful tips that may get you on tract to a happier love-life. Keep it simple, and hope for the best.

1) Lack of Commitment

Here is an instant number one. When a person is in a relationship, it is solely important to be loyal to each other. Cheating often hurts the relationship to extremities because it proves that a person is not loyal to their love. It is important that the lover knows that a relationship is not a one night stand. Being half-committed would only drive the other person farther away from a relationship. When you are in love, you give it your all, not some half-attempt at nothing.

2) Not Caring

It is known in this world that there are people who do not care for you just because you’re a stranger. Is it really necessary that the one you love should not at least care for you back? Caring is important in maintaining a stable relationship because love dose not build on the body or lust alone. People get older and wrinkled, so the body does not stay. Personality means a lot. Caring about a person as who they are should be a primary target. If you are happy, you want the other to know about your happiness. If they brushed it off, it damages the relationship because it makes the other seem and feel insignificant.

3) Jealousy

Although a few people believe it is sweet when their lover is jealous, there is a line that changes from sweet to disturbed. If your lover has friends of the opposite sex, there is no reason to stop them from being friends. It must be accepted; even if the lover is speaking to an ex. Jealousy is also often the key root that harms a relationship because it may spread up distrust to your lover.

Being jealous is on the person who is jealous, spreading harm more than building up love. Set it aside.

4) Domination

Being a control freak is a big, big reason why a person would leave. You sure wouldn’t appreciate it if someone tried to tell you to do this. It sets unrealistic expectations and may make the lover feel unappreciated or perhaps not good enough to rise up to do what you expect them to do. Let them have room to breathe. In every relationship there is one or another that resides on being the ‘leader’ in the family. However, there are limits to that leader. There are boundaries that must be respected. Crossing over to become a control freak will lose that relationship.

5) Trying to change the other

Trying to change another person is a rejection that says, “You need to improve, because you are just not good enough for me. “ I’ve made that mistake, and I won’t be surprised if other people do. However though you want them to change for the better, you have to love the person as they are. Changing them to someone you want will not increase your love for your lover. Instead, it would harm them and hurt them because they would feel inferior and perhaps anger at you. If you are trying to change another person, it probably means that you are not in the right relationship.

6) Self-Pity

Self-Pity is not healthy. While you may feel self-pity because your spouse does not pay full attention to you, you have to remember that they have a life. It is true that you are both together so neither would feel lonely, but you also must remember that you guys have duties as human beings to survive. Work, dreams, and others are often goals people achieve. Loving each other is another goal, but there has to be time for each of them.

You have to respect that, and remember that you got to get to work on your own dreams and goals as well. If you don’t have any, find one. Although you might not be able to control what happens around you all the time, you are in control of your emotions for the most part. Self-pity is self-inflicting. What you do determines how you feel. Put aside that self-pity, and get busy!

7) Bad expectations

Ugh. You expect him to do that. You expect him to do this. And you expect that he would probably sleep with his co-worker. No, uh uh honey, stop. Get a broom, and kick those nasty thoughts out of your head. Stop being so negative, and have hope and put positive expectations up. People try to fulfill the expectations laid out for them, especially from the ones they love. If you, his lover, say “you’re going to do this,” and it’s bad, what do you expect them to do? Trust me. Sometimes you are the cause of the disappointment and not him.

Positive expectations, such as “I know you can do it,” or “I love you,” basically makes the lover feel, well, loved. Nothing is better than being loved, trusted, and known to be the best that they could be. It gives them confidence. Some of the best people of our time took steps, and those steps are formed by positive expectations, such as “You can win,” and “you do your best, and nothing can stop you.” Encourage your lover, instead of bashing him down. What you expect, is what he will do. Conclusion? Have positive expectations.

Lack of Compatibility

While there are diverse interests, and the saying that “opposites attract,” may be true, most break-ups result from a lack of compatibility. You get together with someone that you thought would be absolutely perfect, to find out you have absolutely nothing in common. Set that aside. It is possible to maintain a loving, wonderful relation ship to a guy who is a complete rocker while you are a complete conservative.

What is love? It’s a feeling, and it’s also an action. You got to reinforce that love by simply doing things a loving person would do. Doing the other chores of the house that is typically done by the other person is a great favor, or giving flowers or sweet surprises such as what has been done at the beginning of a relationship. It helps you both to fall more in love with each other because you get to see the joy you give, and you are giving them joy. If it stops, there is a possibility for you or even the other to start to fall out of love.

9) Out of scale fights

A little self-control is important in every twist and turn of life. Taking out the trash is just something a person does, so if your partner and you start to fight about it, giving in to that is for the better. Arguments are never good and tear people apart. Arguments are also highly addicting, but they must be kept out of the matter. Self-control is the key

10) Lack of fun/spontaneity

The beginning is nice and you both get to learn each other very well. In fact, sometimes you guys know each other too well and find that things that once gave you joy is now boring you. Don’t let the boring wind tumble! You both can still be happy together and maintain a strong, loving relationship by adding spice every now and then. Turn things up, but don’t over do it in a way that would freak out your lover. Just use imagination and keep the flow going. Most of all, just have fun and make sure that both you and the one you love are having fun.

Remember to love! Loving with all your heart without restraint is the true fuel to keep a strong relationship. Don’t let any bad situation, idea or hesitation bring it down. Love is meant for love, and once you find it, protect it and build it strong.

-Cutecatlove